Ever since I was a teenager I’ve had a bad habit of starting projects and not finishing them. I started making a rug when I was about 13 years old. I spent hours on it but only managed to do two thirds of it. I found it in my Mother’s attic and it drew my attention to a habit that has been with me for most of my life. I obviously wasn’t born this way so what happened to me to create this pattern of starting things and not finishing them?
I’ve even written a book, 16,000 words and haven’t finished it. I’ve done a series of videos for the website to help clients and there are more to do but I’ve ground to a halt. I’ve started an online course and I’m so behind because I‘ve only done the first month. There are many other examples. I seem to be good at starting, get fully immersed then everything slowly draws to a halt. I even feel guilt around this. Then it starts to nag away at me that I have unfinished business and it’s always there, uncomfortably in the background.
So when lockdown three happened, I thought it was a perfect time to start completing all the unfinished business. But I had absolutely no motivation to do it. In fact no motivation to do anything at all.
Kathryn Creed who is a clinical hypnotherapist, psychotherapist and counsellor has recently joined the team at Tanfield Wellness. I thought it was the perfect time to conquer what’s holding me back. I booked an appointment.
We had an online “Initial Session“ for an hour where she got to know me and what made me tick. She was obviously using all her skills! After a good amount of unravelling, during which an image of a school relay race popped into my head, Kathryn asked if it resonated with me that somewhere along the line I might have been told that I was a good starter and not a good finisher. When she said that, my body did an all-over buzz. I was only ever placed in first or second position in the school relay team! This buzzy feeling always confirms to me that what has just been said is true. I use it a lot in my work.
There was a second issue which I brought up with Kathryn alongside this difficulty with finishing things. I was hooked on a solitaire game on my iPad. When I say hooked, I disclosed on Instagram how many times I’d played it. I shocked myself when I revealed that I'd played 16,487 games! I only ever wanted to play the game and win before the cards were turned over. If I didn't win in one go, I started a new game. You may think the link between the game and my task-finishing problem is obvious. Well, it is now but I assure you it wasn’t before I had my session with Kathryn. The appointment in which I'd experience hypnotic trance was booked, again online. We had more discussions, I think she was fine-tuning exactly how she was going to speak to my unconscious mind, pinpointing the language, imagery. metaphor and storytelling which it would most securely accept as a new and effective blueprint. I got very comfortable and she began. She made me aware of my breathing, slowing it down, then drew my attention to sensations in my body. She counted me backwards as I descended deeper into a relaxed state. I was aware of everything she said, just very relaxed.
She created a relay race in my mind where I was everyone! I was the starter with the gun. I was the first, second, third and fourth person in the relay race. I was also the spectators cheering me on over the finishing line. Then all those split selves combined to become one person again. I felt people patting my back as I enjoyed the crowds cheering. I felt like a golfer who’d just won, walking up to the clubhouse! Next, Kathryn directed me up onto a podium to receive a medal. We spent some time studying each face of the medal where my unconscious mind had placed symbols. Kathryn asked me to describe these messages from my unconscious mind so that she could weave them into the therapy.
After the session, straight away there was a definite change in mindset. I felt motivated, enthusiastic and couldn’t wait to start my to-do list and get ticking when tasks are completed!
Kathryn recorded the hypnotherapy part of the session and sent it to me so if I feel I’m having a wobble I can listen to it again.
It’s now two weeks later and I feel great: I feel clear headed, confident, lighter and more determined. I haven’t played the solitaire game or even thought about it and I have ticked so many things off my list.
So far, I haven’t felt the need to listen to the recoding but I know it’s there if I need it.